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by Kate Weaver-Gibbs
Google “Burnout” and you’ll find infinite pages dedicated to the current climate; causes, % burnout by generation (Gen Z are having the toughest time) and the financial impact burnout has on the economy. In it’s article titled Burnout: Modern Affliction or Human Condition the New Yorker paints an easily understood picture:
To be burned out is to be used up, like a battery so depleted that it can’t be recharged. In people, unlike batteries, it is said to produce the defining symptoms of “burnout syndrome”: exhaustion, cynicism, and loss of efficacy.
It’s a great visual – we can picture ourselves as that battery and gauge where our level sits, but what does that depletion really look like? How does it manifest, feel, how do we identify it and what can be done to prevent it? In preparing to write this piece I did what modern procrastinators do, I picked up my phone en-uber-route and blindly scrolled my insta-feed. And there it was, a flash of inspiration, the answer to my (self inflicted) unproductiveness – the radiant face of Welsh comprehensive alumni Katie.
Bit of a backstory here, Katie has always been beaming, a beautiful face perfectly framed by glossy brunette curls; clever, always in Set 1 possibly 2 ( though I don’t think so); athletic – front and centre on the netball court, running track and in the pool, popular as heck and confident – she radiated self confidence that was intimidating. Save the obligatory Facebook friendship Katie and I didn’t keep in contact after school, it took returning to the homeland twenty years later and catching up with mutual friends that I got to hear what she was up to these days. “A burnout coach and business consultant” Neil said, cue eye roll on my part, “of course she is” I mused picturing the bouncy, popular high achiever advising defeated gloomy individuals on how to be as shiny and successful as she was. Listening a little longer I reached out to Katie and over an honest and vulnerable Zoom call we caught up on the highs, lows and real lows of the last twenty years. I finished a call feeling the warmth, connection and relatability one can only experience when we’ve shared the stories of our respective hurts, challenges and vulnerabilities, reaffirming my core belief that it is in 1. Sharing our perceived weaknesses that we become strong, 2. We have far more in common than that which divides us and 3. whilst others’ successes may be impressive they are not what connects us. It is one’s honesty, vulnerability and relatability that does.
Here’s Katie’s story in her own words. Take out the specifics, relatability shines through.
Katie: 10 years ago I’d have never imagined that I’d be openly sharing my experience of burnout and the anxiety that followed, let alone be running a business that focuses on workplace wellbeing. But, here I am, talking about it with anyone who has access to the internet.
It all got a bit wobbly as I was heading up internal communication for a well known tech company. As with all organisations, there was a lot of change, lots of competing priorities and some big personalities.
Despite the company making efforts to look after our wellbeing with healthy food, gym membership and meditation classes, the rapid growth and constantly evolving demands started to take their toll on the team and I wasn’t immune.
Ignoring the signs
I started getting sick – headaches, stomach pain, skin complaints, muscle spasms, the list went on – but I explained away the symptoms, convinced I was just a bit run down.
I’d worked under lots of stress before and my perfectionist tendencies stepped up and assured me that once the next big task was complete, I’d feel better.
I delayed much needed holidays to deliver projects and worked weekends to satisfy last-minute requests, even when I “admitted defeat” and took a sick day I found myself answering calls and emails.
I had no boundaries for myself, so neither did others.
Hitting burnout
I was exhausted, completely burned out. My doctors saw it, my friends saw it, yet somehow I didn’t want to admit it.
Burnout? Me? No way!
So, I powered through. I looked for a “better” doctor that could figure out what was really going on. I popped another painkiller. I slurped another health potion.
Then a miracle happened. A miracle in the form of 3 weeks with almost no sleep.
My body finally got my attention. It forced me to listen, sit down, rest. And it didn’t let me get back up again for months.
Mental Health Stigma is REAL
Work supported me to take time to recover but I felt huge amounts of pressure to get better. I didn’t want them to find out that all the recent illness was really due to stress and anxiety.
I was desperate to find ways to get back to work but the stigma of poor mental health stopped me opening up to my manager or HR about what was really happening.
They were good people with good intentions but there was no framework or safe space to deal with these sorts of things. At that time I was too vulnerable (and ashamed) to be the catalyst for this change so we both stayed silent.
Be the change you want to see
As I recovered this silence stuck with me.
Why? Because I feel that if either side had had the ability to start a frank conversation about mental health in the workplace (before, during and after) things would have been a lot easier for everyone.
This is not a critique of this team or any other, I’ve seen other organisations and myself fail to tackle this ‘taboo’ topic with grace. And from speaking with business owners and individuals since, it’s clear that even when people really care it can be a struggle to understand and talk about mental health. It’s complex and delicate, so we avoid it.
That’s why I am here sharing my story, hoping it will allow others to do the same and help break down mental health stigma. And that’s why I’ve been championing mental wellbeing at work ever since my recovery.
Supporting others
I used my lived experience, coupled with 15 years of supporting leaders in Government, Corporate and startups with my qualifications in Leadership Coaching, Mental Health and Business Change to help overwhelmed people and businesses avoid burnout and nurture mental health. I do this with practical coaching, training and wellbeing strategies on a 1:1 and group basis. I also provide Mental Health First Aid qualifications so business can create supportive cultures now and in the future.
Find out more
Visit www.kdp.coach to learn more about the lived Burnout experience.
There you can find 1:1 help for you, your business, support for your team, a free burnout test and plenty of tips and tools on Katie’s blog.
